Images supplied by Brahman Hills.
There’s a particular kind of freedom that comes with waking up somewhere beautiful and realising that, for once, nobody wants anything from you. No one is waiting for you to get ready. No one is asking what the plan is for the day. There's no negotiating activities or worrying that everyone is having fun; for once it's all about you.
You can order breakfast, go back to bed and read for an hour.
Or get up early, go for a walk, then head for some pampering at the spa.
That, says Onwaba Gonyora, Director of Brahman Hills, is one of the most underrated pleasures of travelling by yourself.
For many people, though, the idea of going away solo feels uncomfortable.
“We’re used to sharing holidays with family or friends. So, for many, the thought of going alone conjures up fears of loneliness, being self‑conscious at a table for one, or simply wondering how to fill each day,” notes Gonyora.
“For women, solo travel can be more daunting, with safety and social perceptions often adding extra weight, but it can be liberating too. After all, a trip doesn’t have to mean backpacking across a foreign country with nothing but Google Maps and a passport. It can happen much closer to home and may even teach you the joy of spending time with yourself beyond a few hours."
She shares four reasons to give it a try:
1. Unapologetic rest
Most of us go on holiday to rest and then fill every day with activities. Breakfast plans. Sightseeing. Hikes. Biking. Drinks. Dinner. And the quiet pressure to make sure everybody is enjoying themselves.
Just imagine if the only schedule is yours. If you’re burnt out, you can sleep. If you want to spend the afternoon at the spa, you can. If your greatest achievement for the day is moving from your bed to a lounger at the pool with a book, that’s perfectly fine too. Travelling alone gives you permission to do as much or as little as you want, rather than what everyone else wants.
2. Dine your way
Meals take on a new freedom too, because nothing needs negotiating. Breakfast at 11 am? Fine. Dessert first? Why not? A long lunch followed by no dinner at all? Go for it. You can order what you want, eat when you’re hungry and take as long as you like. Forget splitting starters, waiting on others or choosing a restaurant by committee. The only person whose appetite matters is yours.
3. Plans are optional
Travelling with other people usually comes with a schedule. Alone, you set the pace! You can wake up intending to spend the morning exploring and decide, halfway through breakfast, that tomorrow's another day. Perhaps the weather is too beautiful to waste indoors, so you wander through the gardens instead, linger over a magnificent view, or stay somewhere longer simply because you’re enjoying yourself. The freedom to change your plans on a whim can be restorative in itself.
4. Grow in confidence
Being somewhere unfamiliar on your own asks you to make decisions, solve problems, be brave, and trust yourself. You navigate. You ask questions. You make choices without looking for reassurance. You sit alone at a table and discover it isn’t nearly as uncomfortable as you imagined. These may sound like small things, but they build confidence. They remind you that you can enjoy your own company, adapt when plans change, and do things that once felt intimidating.
So, where do you start? Gonyora advises choosing somewhere near enough to home to feel secure, yet far enough from everyday life to be a proper escape.
"I am biased (obviously)," she says, "but I’d say that the KwaZulu-Natal Midlands is a good place to begin. At Brahman Hills, for example, single guests can retreat into a setting designed around slowing down, reconnecting and having space to simply be. As a Sanctuary of Serenity, Wellness and Excellence, it lends itself naturally to a solo escape."
Sometimes all it takes is a night away and one table for one. And once you’ve done that? Perhaps that overseas adventure on your own won’t seem quite so daunting after all.
Keen to try? Visit brahmanhills.co.za .
